Probably one of the hardest things I've ever done was to get this far. I'm taking refuge at a McDonnalds in Budapest while I collect my thoughts and wait for my next train to Romania (only for a soda, I don't eat the food there). I'm in need of a refuge because I've been carying an extra 30lb (no exaggeration, it was weighed at the post office) of packages that needed to be mailed back home from my stay in Leiden but couldn't be because it was Sunday yesterday and the post office was closed. The bags that I have with me (2) are even heavier (I can lift my suitcase but not over my head) plus I bought a somewhat weighty tripod to use over here. When I left my dorm in Leiden I sat down on the front steps, ready to cry because I couldn't fathom how I was going to carry it all; the distance, up and down stairs, in and out of trains, etc. I just prayed that God would give me the strength to do it and send anybody that would help me along and keep ones who would be trouble away. My walk to the train station from my dorm is at least a mile so I slowly began my journey. I had my packages in one of those large blue IKEA bags and the only way I could carry it without it falling off my shoulder was to put one of the straps on my shoulder and the other around my neck. About a third of the way there an older lady asked me if she could help. I warned her that is was heavy, but she took pity on me anyway. This lady, however, was trying to catch a train and we were walking so fast, I thought I might faint or collapse under the weight.
Getting on and off trains was a bit of a challenge, but in two steps I managed. On my first transfer, I got really nervous about getting everything off the train before it left the station and through it all ended up leaving my newly purchased tripod on the train only realizing it 40min. later. I slept in a train, not in a bed but a chair. The car was illuminated by florescent the whole ride and I was across a really smelly man (he was very nice though). When I went into the bathroom, I could finally see the damage I had done to myself by the weight of everything. On my neck I have lovely new bruise markings in the shape of the straps and a few elsewhere. I ache everywhere, my neck, shoulders, I did something to my hip that hurts a lot and my ribcage feels like it got crushed. But I'm alive, safe and finally mailed my packages (for way too much money I just found out thanks to currency converters). I've also decided that I'm out of my mind for doing this, but I guess thats what happens when you follow after God. And I know His body hurt so much more when He had to carry the cross.
Sometimes we have to get really uncomfortable to understand a little more how much our God loves us.
1 comment:
however, you still look beautiful
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